we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm at about main and main street
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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