I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
