He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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