now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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