Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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