lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
