Swine flu. Run for my life!
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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