Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
