You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
