As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
