new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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