apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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