Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
