When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
two words: eviction party
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
