it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
