We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
