My first STD was from a foam party
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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