I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Randomize
