Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Sorry my hands just texted you
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
