So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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