It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
