Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
