Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
