I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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