Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
