if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
