I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize