Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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