last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
