I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
