Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
