Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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