So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
