Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
