remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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