My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
