It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
