I think I just saw someone hide a body.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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