please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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