trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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