just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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