trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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