On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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