i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
