Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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