i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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