I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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