I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
