garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
