it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
