He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Ladies don't puke and tell
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
