And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
