I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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