He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
