you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
