This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He felt like a one man threesome
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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