Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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