Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
