I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Randomize
