Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
