'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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