Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
