I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
