Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
What drink are we having for lunch?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
